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The [Self-Consumed] Doer

I've been self consumed most of my life. Focused on how I look, how I feel, and how I act in front of others.

Although I've devoted daily time putting the Lord first through bible reading, meditating and prayer, I've still felt a sense of unease and worry that I'm not 'doing enough' or being the best I can be. In an effort to change this state of mind, perfection has become an idol.

It's not the detailed nitty-gritty of making sure everything is perfectly placed and cleaned up kind of perfection, but perfection in the sense of doing everything right, all the time, and condemning myself when I've done something wrong. A striving kind-of perfection. And in this, becoming so self consumed to try and pamper myself as much as possible, so I'm not stressed and able to "be enough". Even as I write these words sitting in a beautifully wooded nature area secluded from others, I wonder if I'm in the right place to hear Him speak to me and settl…
Recent posts

When You Can't Seem to Stop, Surrender.

When you think of surrender, you may think of "letting everything go to God". But before that takes place, there's a beautiful submissiveness of the flesh that needs to happen within our soul: humbleness.

Genesis 11 talks about the Tower of Babel. When God's people took it upon themselves to "make sure" they were not forgotten and build a name for themselves. All this in an effort to proclaim their goodness and not their God. This was not just an act of pride but an act of self righteousness rooted in fear.

Fear can make you do a lot of stupid things if you let it. But God can do much greater if you let go.

Let go and humble yourself.

This week I've been hit with a brick. Kind of like the brick(s) mentioned in Genesis 11 that were made by the sons of Noah. All my life I've wanted to be something and prove my worth. Not just in a twisted effort to "earn God's good grace" but to feel powerful. Feel in control. Feel worthy.

And just like…

I Choose to Believe He Reigns Over Anxiety

Every year the Lord leads me to a "word of the year", and in 2018 my word was choice... choosing to rest, choosing to be still, and choosing to keep going no matter how I felt.

As 2018 comes to a close and I reflect back on this word, I see how Jesus has worked to drive me deeper into the meaning of it for my life.

The truth is, I've always had a choice. And as a believer, you do too because of His gracious free will.

This year I learned that my choice to rest when it was needed, my choice to work hard when I was called to, and my choice to take it easy [when it really was harder than ever] was vital to my well-being- spiritually, physically and emotionally.

But I also learned that "my choice" is just my choice. It doesn't screw up the sovereign plan that God has set for my life. And because of this, I don't have to wallow in worry, anxiety, constant frustration or fear that things won't work out. Why? Because whatever choice I make, He promises to…

Trust Him in Your Anxiety

The Spirit, Not the Letter
4 And we have such trust through Christ toward God. 5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, 6 who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. - 2 Corinthians 3:4-6

Do you ever feel constantly distressed?  Like your mind won't stop worrying or clinging to some issue or circumstance and it drives you bonkers? Or maybe multiple thoughts you can't seem to "throw off" keep bombarding your mind, and the more you realize these thoughts won't go away, the more stressed you get. This, my friend, is called anxiety. And it affects over 40 million+ people in America. Maybe you can relate? Being anxious is no fun. Personally, it's my least favorite thing to experience, and it tries to drag me down more often than ought. But without my anxiety and past experience with p…

HE is our Relief

John 11:9-10 "If anyone walks in the day he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him."


Sometimes, darkness feels like its all around us. But in these times we need not be afraid. If we are following Jesus in what we know, we will not fall into darkness or death. This does not mean we will not struggle, but rather we will not be utterly cast down to the point where we can't get up.

As a believer, Jesus will always pick us back up and show us the way. We gain hope as we continually turn to Him in the midst of hard times and turmoil.

We may not instantly "feel" Him or the relief, but He promises us that He is there (Matthew 28:20), that He's working (Romans 8:28), and that we will receive relief in this life, not just the next (Galatians 6:9; 1 Peter 5:10).

Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do…

When You're Under Attack

Acts 28:3-5
"But when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks and laid them on the fire, a viper came out because of the heat, and fastened on his hand. So when the natives saw the creature hanging from his hand, they said to one another, “No doubt this man is a murderer, whom, though he has escaped the sea, yet justice does not allow to live.” But he shook off the creature into the fire and suffered no harm."



The start of Winter is such a beautiful time in Tennessee. The leaves are still falling off the trees, Christmas decorations are starting to go up, and, oh, how I love any chance to cozy up by the fireplace with a giant mug of apple cider. If I were to pick my favorite time of year, this would be it.

But this time of year can also be hard for me, as someone who struggles with depression. The sun is moving farther away each day and darkness seems to linger around, not only geographically, but spiritually as well. Then there's the bio-metric pressure change that causes y…

Be Expectant

Acts 3: 1- 7
"Now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour.2 And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms from those who entered the temple; 3 who, seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for alms. 4 And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, “Look at us.” 5 So he gave them his attention, expecting to receive something from them. 6 Then Peter said, “Silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” 7 And he took him by the right hand and lifted him up, and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength."

When you think of the past week you just walked through, how many times were you expecting something bad to happen? Maybe driving to work on Friday morning, you were expecting traffic to hit, or Wednesday night you were expecting to …